About

The Onion has been publishing satirical news since 1988. This site collects their headlines by calendar date, so you can see what absurdities were manufactured on any given day across three decades.

The patterns are the point. Area Man shows up reliably. The Nation reacts predictably. Local teens remain confounding. Headlines from 1998 feel like they were written yesterday, which is either funny or depressing.

Caveats

This archive, pulled from The Onion's The Latest section, is incomplete. Only dated articles appear on the calendar pages. Some categories — like American Voices, horoscopes, editorial cartoons and video content — are excluded entirely.

There's no official API or comprehensive data source, so this represents a best-effort scrape. If your favorite headline is missing, it's probably one of the undated ones. Sorry about that.

This is an unofficial fan project. All headlines link back to their original source at theonion.com.